What are you doing?

Going to make bacon and eggs.

For who?

For you.

Oh no I don't want nothing like that. Forget it.

Aren't you ever going to let me cook breakfast?

You can cook breakfast when you grow up and get married. If you are lucky enough to find some dope.

Meantime look here we got your beautiful coco crunchies their.

Don't give me that face.

Did you ever read what's in this stuff here look at this You got your phosphorus there you got your vitamins there. You got your magnishia. All of that hey. And the best thing of all if that stuff if loaded with sugar. Keep you going all day long.

God what stinks in here.

Everything! The stuffed cabbage from Mrs. Bloom the tuna casserole from ...

Alright alright alright don't tell me no more.

If the refrigerator's working why is everything stinking?

It's all been in there for three weeks.

Oh didn't you think to clean some of it out?

You told me not to touch anything in the kitchen.

Yah that's right I told you that.

Hay there was a terrific picture on the late show last night. You should of stooped downstairs and watched it with me for a little while you know. Godzilla the monster. You should of seen that guy killing Japs millions of them there. We sure could have used him in WW2 .

So how was school yesterday?

fine. How was work?

um----terrific terrific. I got everything under control like usual.

We need milk.

yah I see that. Well ill bring home some from work tonight.

I was thinking this weekend.

Hay hay hay hay. I got this weekend all planed for us look at this here. Two reserved seats. Tickets to the circus that's for Saturday afternoon isn't it. On Sunday we go to the movies again.

I like to go the cemetery. You said we would.

Oh yah but I already bought the tickets.

You promised.

I know i promised but I didn't say when.

I'll get that

Oh hi you there Polly. Come on in Come on in. How you doing.

Hi Arch I'm fine. You certainly sound chipper. How's it going?

Oh with us fine. Were getting along swell. Here look at this were even having breakfast.

Ah! How are you Stephanie?

OK

Arch I came for my casserole dish.

Oh yah yah. Well

Oh Polly its-its in here you know. Amongst allot of other odds and ends. Can you find it in there?

I found it.

You didn't eat it! Don't you like Lasagna?

Lasagna is that what that used to be?

Yah

Oh gee we love Lasagna. We thought it was a tuna casserole. Well I'll get all of that out for you.

Oh I'll get it out.

Hay! It looks like it's trying to get out by it's self.

Oh well look at the time kid-o. Maybe you better be running off to school.

OK

What about this Saturday?

Come on Saturday were going to the circus. I got the tickets Ha. And look we got to get there early so we get used to the smell of the elephants. So though when we have out Hot Dogs peanuts and cotton candy then we won't get nauserated.

Take somebody else to the circus.

What's she got against the circus?

Oh nothing nothing nothing. She goes to the circus alright. Just that she was thinking about making a visitation to the. Well you know Medowglen.

Oh

Yah . Ah I figure what's the rush it's only a little over a month. You might as well give the grass a chance to grow out there before you start looking all around. You know what I mean?

I know what you mean. Well just yell over the fence if you need me ok.

Yah I'll do that Polly.

Bye Arch.

Yah ya thanks a million.

Hay give my regards to Ed.

I will.

Gees yous guys are always fighting about something that has no meaning to the rest of humanity.

I'm just trying to tell Harry that most of the traffic that comes into the city comes over the tri- borough bridge.

Well I say it's the Queens borough.

Well are you trying to tell me my business? I've been a bridge inspector here for 28 years and I'm telling you her it's the Tri-borough.

Hay how do you inspect bridges when your always in here ha?

Easy! I simply consult my manifest find out today's the day for the

Brooklyn Bridge and I mark it unsafe.

Hay Barney try some of these new cashews.

Yah there excellent I got them at a gourmet place in the village.

Gee thanks Mr. Van R I really love cashews.

Harry it never fails does it?

You guys is there no end to your merriment?

Oh gees fellows I hate to interrupt important business, but whereas my oven cleaner ha?

Archie's bringing it over. He has a couple a errands to go on first.

Were trying to keep him busy.

You know I can't help thinking of my cousin Eddie it was offal.

What's with him?

Well he's allot like Arch. He relied on his wife for everything and she passed away in her sleep one night quietly. Just like Edith it was her heart you know. It was terrible.

What happened?

He couldn't handle it. He went to pieces.

But not old Arch he's doing fine.

And I hope it stays that way

Listen were all trying to keep him happy ant we. Were all keeping his spirits up.

You can do that by breathing on him.

Oh ha ha ha ha.

Ah Veronica.

Hi there everybody.

Hi Arch.

Hi Mr. Van R.

Hi there boss did you get my oven cleaner?

Yah here it is. Gee this stuff cost a fortune do you have to cook like a slob?

Look who's calling who a slob.

Don't argue.

Your right Arch I'll try to watch it.

Hi Linda here

Get that stuff back in the office for me ha.

I have a latch to fix on the back door and I have to look at the leak in the ceiling there.

And this here Murray is a job for you.

Glad to do it.

Is that for your toilet Arch?

No Barney it's for my goldfish bowl.

What the hell was so funny?

It's not what you said it how you said it. It's all in the timing.

Oh Yah, I was never that funny before.

Oh Well can I say Arch. Like good scotch you get better with age.

Like a good bartender pour me a beer.

Coming right out.

Anything he wants.

Ha ha who who got it this time?

I got it this time Mr. Van R.

How come yous ant laughing at that ha. You said that was funny ain't that a joke?

That's too childish to be funny.

Than why was Mr. Van R wetting his pants here?

Come on come on Murray I know what you are doing. I know what yous all are doing and don't do it no more ha. You don't have to tiptoe around me.

Your right Arch your right.

And yous don't have to be always agreeing with me neither.

OK Arch anything you say.

You done it again you dope.

Your right.

And still again.

Yah I know.

You be better off in Brooklyn Barney.

Yah I think I go inspect my bridge.

Hello Mr. Klein. Is Mr. Bunker in yet?

Oh yah you tracked him down. Hay Archie this man was her to see you yesterday. I told him to come around today.

Mr. Bunker hi. Jim Spencer Fidelity Insurance. It's about your wive's policy.

Oh yah yah yah.

You are a tough man to track down.

Oh well I've been pretty busy lately. To tell you the truth I am very busy right now. Setting up for the lunch rush you know and I got to go back and fix a raging toilet.

Well this won't take but a minute. OK if we sit here.

First off please accept condolences on behalf of myself and Fidelity Insurance on the death of your wife Judith.

That was Edith.

Oh I'm terribly sorry please forgive me. I have trouble reading my own handwriting. Maybe I should have become a doctor.

I have I have your beneficiary death claim. Which states that Edith Bunker died on the date indicated and if you just sign in right there I'll present you with a check for five thousand dollars.

I ain't going to sign that.

what?

I don't want to be no beneficiary. What do yous people think. That I can sign a person off the world like that. I don't want it. Just send it out to my daughter in California Gloria Stivic she lives in Santa Barbara.

Well why don't you do that Mr. Bunker? You can endorse the check right over to her. See as beneficiary I need your signature on the death claim.

I ain't signing no death claim. Oh Your a big company can't you just leave me alone and do what I'm asking you to do. Send it out there to my daughter.

Oh maybe I better call the home office.

Use the Pay phone down in the subway this ones out of order.

It's out of order.

Archie Bunker's Place A. Bunker here. Ah hol-hold on ha.

Down the subway alright.

I'm Back. Yes that's right Stephanie Mills. What do you mean she's fine. What?!!!! well No I didn't know. Ill handle it.

Alright! Alright! Alright! Ill handle it bye.

Oh holy cow.

What happened?

It's the kid. She ain't been in school for a week.

Don't you hit her!

I ain't going to hit her!

What you going to do flush her?

Just stay calm.

I am calm.

Hi everybody.

Hi Stephe.

How you doing honey?

Hi

Well so how was school today?

(Softly) Fine.

What did you learn there?

History! How Marco Polo opened trade with China.

Richard E Nixon done that your lying. You wasn't in school today. If fact you haven't been in school all week.

Don't use your hands!

I'll use my hand on you if you don't get out of here.

Arch.

You and me are going to have a little talk in private back in the office.

What are yous two looking at?

Who's looking?

This ain't like you kid-o this ain't like you at all. What have you been doing? Where have you been going?

To the library.

Everyday? Nobody can read everyday.

Once I went to a museum. Mostly I sit in the park and think.

Your supposed to be doing your thinking in school.

I know but I can't go back there.

Oh you got to go back there.

I just can't. Kids are treating me different now.

What are they doing to you?

They don't want to talk to me. I had to recite a poem. It was one Aunt Edith helped me memorize and off of the sudden I was crying and ever since the other kids have been acting funny.

Listen that should teach you a lesson. You had no go blooping in front of strangers.

But even at home I can't.

You shouldn't be at home neither. It don't do no good . It don't change nothing kid. Listen I'm going through the same thing here you know. Murray, Barney all the guys their treating me differently.

They are!

They think you and me are going to fall apart on our owns. But they don't know us. Were going to be OK ain't we? Ain't we?

Guess so.

After you eat your lunch I'll walk you back to school.

You don't have to.

I got to. I got to go up and see that truant officer. Ain't that ridicules. Your the guy that goes awol and I'm the guy that has to face the court's martial.

Oh Bob throwing things in class. I understand how you feel school if full of frustrations failures disappointments.

It's OK to be angry about that, but you can't express that anger with violence.

It was self defense.

That shouldn't be necessary.

Remember Bob when your trying to control 35 boys in shop class nothing is more important then calm.

Mr. Bunker, please come in.

I'm Ms. Wakefield we spoke earlier on the phone.

Ya ya I know, but I can't help saying I'm surprised you know. Seeing you a grown-up women and a good looking women too I might add doing this type of work.

What?

Being a truant officer torturing little kids.

Oh Mr. Bunker I'm not a truant officer. I'm a councillor.

What is that Barn Yard Collage.

That's Barnard.

Oh Barnard! Do yous have a football team?

No there the state champions in debating.

Debating oh biggie.

Please sit down I like to talk to you about Stephanie.

First of all I wasn't you to know how sorry I am to hear about your wife.

Oh yah well thanks very much.

And I realize this is a difficult time for Stephanie.

Ya well we don't need to go into all of that you know. I had a nice little talk with her this noon. She ain't going to play hookey no more.

That's good! Did you find out what the problem is.

Ya all the kids was treating her funny, but that's normal the same thing is happening to me. You know the guys down at my bar ever since I lost my wife.

Did Stephanie attend the funeral?

Attend sure! Her and me were the first to the grave.

well I'm glad she had a chance to mourn with the family.

Oh we mourned first class let me tell you.

Does Stephanie talk very much about her aunt?

Oh well she tries to you know, but I get her right off of that.

Well sometimes people want to talk about their sadness with somebody close to them.

Yah I know I know they keep wanting to drag it out and drag it out you know,but they aut to be forgetting and getting on with life.

I suppose you haven't given Stephanie anything that belonged to your wife.

Oh no God. What do you think I am a dope? Gees I have not looked and any of that stuff my self. But I want to pack it away when I get a chance.

Mr. Bunker I think your wrong. I think you should let Stephanie go through those things with you and pick out something that belonged to your wife. It is very helpful to have a special keepsake.

Are you kidding?

No I'm not kidding.

Oh well I don't know what I'm doing here wasting my time. Gees you and me are talking two different languages.

Afraid so!

Oh listen I done what you want. I got the kid back in school. That's what you were worrying about. You don't have to worry about nothing no more goodbye.

I'm not finished.

Well I am!

Mr. Bunker children just like adults need to deal with death it's part of life. Stephanie need to talk about this. If she doesn't it could have serious consequences.

I know my job and I'm doing it.

You just do your job, case closed.

You know something I think that councilor is right. Stephanie can't handle thing the way you can. So I think you should do whatever the councilor told you to do.

That's what I say.

But she said I ought to let Stephanie help me go through all of Edith's stuff. You know Pack and maybe let her keep something that belonged to her.

Well that's a good idea!

I kept my Aunt Josie's amides rosary beads.

It over a month it's time.

Yah well I guess its got to be done.

Well who else is going to do it?

Veronica!

What! No! No no! no! I know what you think. You want me to go over to your place tomorrow and help pack up all Edith's clothes and stuff.

You wouldn't have to do it alone you know. I could get our neighbor Polly Swanson to come in and help you.

Oh Archie! Archie!

Alright alright forget it forget it.

I'll do it I'll do it. I just got to do this first.

No wait a Minute wait a Minute where-where are you going?